Wow. Time is flying by...and my sis JUST told me I need to update. She wanted me to post this picture from Christmas day:

Thanks for everyone's words about lying. That morning in Church I was flipping through my Bible trying to find every verse there was about lying...I was sure there was going to be one about liars going to hell or something like that. (Those of you that know me and the Bible know I know there is NOT a verse in the Bible that says that...I just WANTED there to be one...kind of...b/c I was hurt.) Anyway, instead God brought me to the 1 Corinthians 13 verses about love. I was like "FINE God, I will read it!"

 I got to the part that talks about love not keeping a record of wrongs...and there is where my heart found peace. So, I went to the person, asked them to read those verses and talked to them about the lying. I told them how it made me feel to have them lie to me and then told them that at the same time God had told me that if I REALLY loved them, I would not keep a record of wrongs against them.
 It was nice that for once my love was not conditional upon how they responded, but instead upon how God says love should be.

What would you guys do if you found out that someone you loved lied to you?

Simply asking God to increase my faith every day is totally changing everything about my walk. I can't believe it!

This time last year I was in India. I can't believe that time has gone by so quickly.

Life is guuud!

Peace out brothers and sisters!

Slipping, slipping, falling. My spirit calls from deep within to turn my heart in awareness, forcing me to my knees on your behalf. Intensity I have not felt in ages. Please Lord! When will the passionate pleas abate? Not until the battle is won and only my spirit will know. Babe, please be alert tonight as the enemy is near.

A few hours later my heart knew the battle was won...this time.

How I know my faith is real:

Sitting in my house Saturday night and the Holy Spirit inside of me tells me evil is near...not to me but to someone I love...and it brought me SO hard to my knees. My heart fully aware of the battle that was waging, yet full of a peace that passes all understanding...the only thing I know is my spirit going into auto-pilot...begging, pleading with the Lord for His presence, His intervention, His protection.

Then last night, to find out the exact time period my Spirit was on high alert, forcing me to my knees, the battle was real, the exact person my spirit was interceeding for was in the thick of battle...the enemy SO close. And when my spirit abated? The exact time the victory was won.

Now, you tell me Jesus is not King of King and Lord of Lords.

This morning Jon and I were Mary and Joseph in a Christmas play at Church.  It was interesting and Jon did an awesome job singing "Mary did you know". One lady pulled me aside and told me that watching him sing that song to me the way he did in rehersal made it evident that Jon loves me...wowzer. I am starting to learn that not all things should you tell your boyfriend. This will be one thing I won't share with him. But it sure was nice to hear. Does he love me like some people think he does? I guess we will find out won't we.

For some reason the Good Lord had me up at 3:45 this morning. It ended up being a great time for quiet time. I have started a new Bible Study called, Believing God, and I think it is going to be a good challenge for my walk. It is a Beth Moore one and one of the lines in the intro says that God told her that He never said he wanted her to believe in God, but rather believe Him. Very interesting...makes you evaluate if you really do believe Him when you look into His word and don't take Him at it. I find myself every day asking the Lord to increase my faith.

I am tired. I guess that happens when you get up at 3:45. I am tempted to skip tonight's Christmas Party but know I really shouldn't. I can crash on my sister's couch soon after its conclusion only to get up at 3:40 tomorrow am to take her to the airport.

My boy has started a new job which means I don't see him much any more. It honestly has been an issue the past few days as I have been trying to adjust. Anyway, it was nice today to have a few hours after the play to be able to just relax with him alone. It has been way too long.

Time sure does seem to fly by these days. I am not entirely sure how, but some how it manages to. J and I talked things through and worked them out. Thanks for everyone's encouraging words. I know I need to work on my trust for J and only the good Lord will be able to help me do that. I guess I should be thankful I am dating a guy whom other girls want to chase down, because he is so great, but part of me would rather just have it the easy way, the way that does not challenge my weaknesses. My weaknesses seem to be becoming more apparent to me these days...but with that is also coming a greater dependence on God for being the goodness. Grace, amazing grace, has become such a head lifter for me these days as God walks me down the road of rooting out all the stones of ungodliness I am coming across in my life.

Other wise this week I subbed a lot, went on a job interview for a job I didn't get, taught 2 Missions Bible studies, and have been trying to help nurse my VERY sick boyfriend back to health.

Finally, I am VERY ready for God to give me a full time job that I can count on...if I could mark any one thing that would be a great challenge for me in the discouragement department it would be the job situation. I am determined to Praise the Lord through this part time job situation and wait it out, but I can be honest and say it is getting harder and harder as my bank account continues to decrease. I guess that might just be the point...so I will learn to do it no matter what.

I am blessed. Period. I want to be like Job and fall on my face in praise of the Lord even if everything in my world is falling down around me. Because while the world may be a mess, my God never is...

My boyfriend is pretty much being stalked, now I wouldn't have put it that way before today, but when I had to get off the phone with him b/c this girl had followed him on the interstate and then all the way into the Church parking lot to talk to him, I will put it that way...and well, they were the words out of his mouth. I am upset and I hate it. I hate that I think it is partly his fault. He could have/should have put her off a long time ago and this makes the 3rd time in 3 weeks I have had to deal with his attention being diverted to her b/c of her antics...I am mad. And I am sad. I am emotionally a mess and I hate it. I hate that I am crying, out of anger, dissapointment, sadness...I don't know. Is this girl really a psycho? I don't know and I wish that I wouldn't be so affected by it. You guys, please pray for me.

And to finish the Thanksgiving post: a picture of my too cute niece...who was eating EVERYTHING and was as cute as could be! She gave me my first Isabella initiated smootches...after I gave her a piece of turkey...I guess we know that food makes this kid's life go 'round! Isn't she a cutie!

Thanksgiving went well. I now know if I want my family actually at my wedding on time I will need to tell them it starts AN HOUR before it does...yeah.  The Opryland hotel is AMAZING! You could wander around in there for hours and still not see the whole thing! I want to go back one day...here is a family photo...I now know where I got my "cheerleading face" from, take a gander at my dad...he he he. I swear there are cheerleading pictures out there of me some where where I have the EXACT same face...

AND YES, I NOW think it is OK to have Christmas decorations up...they do a great job decorating this massive hotel for Christmas...I thought this tree was pretty...

And finally, my niece has CRAAAAZY, I mean can not help but laugh out loud when you see it crazy, bed head! It will make this Thanksgiving memorable for sure...That, and some good quality time with my big sis. I am glad God brought me back here live after coming home from India...I would NEVER have imagined He would do such a thing, but it has been a blessing to get to spend time with my siblings again...to have the opportunity to get to know them more...to work on our relationships with one another. Thanks God...I look forward to the upcoming months...

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What am I thankful for? Many things, but today I am most thankful for this:

Therefore, He (Jesus) had to be made like his brethren(humans) in all things, that He might become a merciful and faithful high priest in things pertaining to God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For since He Himself was tempted in that which He has suffered, He is able to come to the aid of those who are tempted. Hebrews 2:17-18.

How awesome that my high priest, Jesus, is sitting up at the right hand of God watching me walk through this life. He is there to share a smile, and I think very possibly a high five, with God when I understand and get it right, and there to tug on God's sleeve when I don't, telling Him how hard it is to be in this fallen world and talking to Him about my need for mercy and grace. That is the most awesome thing ever...God knew we would need someone who understood...and that is why He gave us Jesus...to understand, to strengthen, and plead for grace and mercy when we need it..which, for me, I need A LOT! Ha ha! But, I love it, I love taking it day by day getting it right sometimes, and sometimes not...I love my life. I love my Jesus for allowing me to have it this way.

I am thankful that Jon in his excitement over reading  these verses yesterday,  reminded me how much God gave me these verses when I was in India to be able to walk differently.  It is a challenge to me in that I have Jesus living inside of me...the giver of all power, strength, love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control...so in that, I have the ability to be just the same...BUT in times when I fall short of the glory of the Lord...I have a perfect High Priest there to administer grace and mercy...faithfully...if THAT is not something to be thankful for...I don't know what is...

Happy Thanksgiving to all! My sis and I are off to the Opryland Hotel to have Thanksgiving Lunch with the fam(it is always interesting)...I am excited to spend time with my sis...and to see the Hotel, I have never been there and hear it is amazing...

I love sitting and listening to Jon play the piano and sing. I love sitting down and praying with him for the people in our lives. I love reading the Bible with him. I love facing the struggles in our lives together and seeing how he is such a better man than I could have imagined through most of those. I love that after our first fight I realized that I love him even more than I did before it took place. I love laughing with him over such goofy things. I love seeing the smile on his face when he enters a room. I love when we say the exact same thing at the exact same time. I love that he prays for me daily. I love that he likes to be close to me. I love that he sends me a text message every morning on his way to work. I love that he helps me to see from God's perspective on days when I am failing to do it on my own. I love that he has a view and understanding of grace and mercy that far surpass my own, and treats others accordingly.  I love that he seeks forgiveness when he is wrong, sometimes from his knees, with tears in his eyes. I love that he wants me to be fully dependent on Christ, first and foremost, and seeks to make sure that happens...there is much more, but I guess I have realized this day that I love this boy more and more each day...God has blessed me more than I could have imagined...and I am thankful.

There is nothing like a sunny fall day spent in the mountains. Jon and I went up to the Big South Fork, where his family is from, and did some hiking and some cave exploring. It was awesome to hike through the crunchy leaves to hit a rocky overlook where we were able to spy the lazy river winding its way through the valley below, and sit in peace, the only sound to be heard being the wind making its way through the trees in the distance. It was a great day...here are some pictures.
Jon and me:

The sun shining down on the river, our view from the rocky overlook:

Jon and I caving in Devil's Den:

Is there a fine line between assumption and discernment?

I pause here to remember fondly my friend mandovi, who has since ceased to post, but who sitting in a cafe in India with me one day put assume to me like this ASS-U-ME.

Yesterday in Church whilst the Pastor was speaking it hit me that what we assume shows us the condition of our hearts. I know the most gentle lady, I think she might just be the most gentle lady on the earth, who could NEVER assume anything bad about anyone. Honestly, I remember being annoyed at her sometimes b/c she NEVER would assume or think anyone had a bad motive, I mean EVER...yesterday I realized it was because my heart was not as pure as hers...and her outlook was totally a lot more postive than mine...
I want to be discerning...I long for that...I want my heart to respond out of pureness and start to assume the positive...God is constantly working and boy am I thankful! I told J last night that this week I am going to work on not assuming bad things...I think, ha ha KNOW, satan likes to play mental games with me...and this week, he is going down for the count baby! Yay for thought/spirit provoking Sunday School!
An update on Jonathan for all of you who want to know...things are just getting better every day... Oh, and I did it, I joined the Church I have been visiting since I got home...

Well, another week has passed at what seems to be warp speed. In that time I have bought a REALLY CHEAP car that I am hoping will last me until I can get a full time job, have been put in the "loser" category by my father, his words not mine, have started working a second part time job while I am waiting on God to provide the right job, and have been greatly humbled by getting mad at someone who "sinned" against someone I really care about to have God gently let me know that only in my "self righteous" state would I get mad at someone for a sin when I am just as guilty of sinning every single day, it just might not be the same sin. Grace lessons...grace lessons...

[EDIT: I do need to clarify that I don't think it is wrong to be angry...b/c God says "in your anger do not sin." I think you all need to understand " Barbara angry" b/c I have realized this week I am not a very "godly angry" person. I have realized this week how poorly I manage my anger, on the occassion that it does surface. I did not handle my anger the way God would want me to this week... It was refusing to let it go and what came out of my mouth during that time of anger that was the sin of which I myself felt convicted of at this moment of realization, kinda ironic I think, ha ha. Anyway...I was mad at this person and appalled at how she DARED act tword someone in my life and I pretty much trash talked her gracelessly (only to my best friend and the person it happend to, in my anger) b/c she did not seek forgiveness from the person I am talking about, after totally trashing him, which I felt was wrong, and I still think is. So,  I was reading in Ephesians 4:29 about unwholesome talk and only letting things come out of my mouth that are edifying...then someone read the verse about "what comes out of the mouth comes from the heart,"  (gulp) and when I COUPLE my anger with letting the words come out of my mouth....that was the moment of sin. So I realize that sometimes it is ok to be mad at the sin but that I should NOT be mad at the sinner. I was harboring bitterness! And boy is that yucky...and the person that was treated harshly and un-justly to make me so mad? So un-humanly graceful!!!...that I could not help I falling to my knees. I really want to be more humble and see sin for what it is and be able to love and bestow grace upon people who mess up, b/c BOY I sure mess up A LOT and wouldn't want anyone to talk about me like I did this lady or be treated how I WANTED to treat this lady the next time I saw her...Don't worry, I think God kept her at bay until He could bring me to my knees! Ha ha. He is always perfect!  Life is all about the journey...and the transformation from the way of this world into His way. Walk on my friends, walk on...and for those of you who have already put words of encouragement here, THANK YOU! You have no idea how much I needed that! I am blessed.]

I am being challenged and God is faithful. I read in Joshua this week where God says He will never leave me or forsake me. THAT was a verse that hit home with me as I reflected on my own dad's less than encouraging words as to my life right now, or since I have become a Christian and followed God for what to do with my life, for that matter.

Children are a gift from God to parents...then why is it that so many parents don't see it?Why is it that the very people that are supposed to love you and teach you about life are the ones who can thoughtlessly utter words that you have to fight to over come, knowing they are not true, just because you choose to live your life different than they do...

A picture from a hike J and I took this week. The beauty God has surrounded me with is amazing...fall has arrived and the leaves are such beautiful colors right now...

A few of you asked how it is done...it is amazingly simple...if you have time and a some what capable hand. My sis looked up pumpkin patterns on-line...then we went to Wal-mart and bought pumpkin carving tools...about 3 bucks if I remember correctly...then you tape the pattern to the pumpkin, punch through the pattern onto the pumpkin, next use the tools to cut along the dots you have made or shave off the outer peel on areas that don't need to be cut all the way through....and VIOLA, there you have it! I think it took me about 2.5 hours to do mine...I started off doing Wonder woman...but my pattern was CRAZY hard so I switched to Napoleon.   I think it would be fun to do this every year...but each year pick a theme to have the whole group of carvers work from...
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Pumpkin carving at my sis's house tonight! I feel as though I am actually experiencing America this year...participating in holidays I have not been apart of for years while overseas...it is kinda nice.
Jen's pumpkin:

And then mine:

Fun times.

As diamonds grow more brillant under pressure, and as iron sharpens iron, so do the times of difficulty try us and make us strong. For God, in His love, has plans for you beyond all your imaginings. -The gift and the words from Jonathan yesterday.

I feel as though it has been a heck of a week. What has remained true? That God is always on His throne. He is perfect and graceful. That when we are struggling, He is right there...with His perfect Word and timing. I love the people at my Church. I love getting to sit and talk with different members about God and being forced to remember His goodness and the lessons He has taught me the past 9 years of my walk. It was hard for me this week as I looked into the Word and walked away...not doing what it said..and spiritually feeling the consequences.

I am looking forward to the afternoon...some fellowship with a great couple from Church as we watch the UT football game verses Bama and grill out. Jonathan and I are going to make dessert...and he WANTS to help...should be fun and interesting...I have never baked with a boy before.

So, I had a dream that Jonathan put a ring on my finger last night. THAT has never happened before...

Anyway, what I find amazing about God is how He speaks to our hearts. Last night Jonathan brought up the question, (after hearing me squeal in excitement over a voice mail from my dear friend Jassi Rose, whom I felt the Lord telling me to call yesterday, which I thought about, thought it was too early, and didn't, hence my excitement that obviously I was supposed to have called her b/c she ended up calling me. I just think things like that are rock on cool, even though I didn't call her like I felt I should have, but that is beside the point, right now anyway) if sin had not come into the world, would we ALWAYS be able to hear the Lord's voice and follow it right away?

On another note: My biggest struggle this past week? Being called, named, esteemed, and known as "the missionary." I found myself thankful this week that God calls me by name...not by occupation, tasks, sin by which I have fallen short of His glory, or otherwise...for in none of those is who I am...in none of those is my true identity...for what I long for is my only identity to be that of Barbara, dearly beloved daughter of THE KING. In THAT identity is my fullness.

I AM blessed, by The One who loves me more than any human possible, by The One who's grace knows no bounds...

Well, I have been pondering how much or how to share with you all what God has been showing me the past few months in regard to relationship. I was responding to a question a friend posted, and thought, I should just steal my own comment and make it my post. It is kinda long...but it is my heart...so here you go...

You know...I read your last post last night and wanted to spend time thinking about it before I responded. :) And now here is another one. :) Are you ready? This could get long!!

Let me first tell you that I have commitment issues myself! My relationships have not lasted either but BOY AM I THANKFUL I did not force the issue with any of them! And when God speaks to your heart about a relationship and tells you to keep walking in it...then the difference comes. I have been on my knees about this relationship I am in and only because the Lord first told me to get over my fears and date this boy have I done so. I think that it is right that your first desire is for Jesus, and you realize that at the end of your day you would rather have Jesus than a man. If you start any relationship thinking any other way I think it is bound for destruction. So often relationships destruct because we get out of focus and think that a "man" can provide the heart things we "need", when we both know they can not. Then we end up putting pressure on a man to fulfill a role, to be something he was never meant to be...that whole "you complete me" line is a bunch of crap. So as long as your first desire is for the Lord and you are not expecting this guy to be the Lord...then things will be right where they are supposed to be.

I think another thing we tend to do is see our relationships as about "us". God has been talking to me about that this week. God has been telling me that my relationship, mostly in marriage form, is my ministry not only to my husband, but almost as important, to others. God intended marriage to be yet another example of His role in this world. Husband love your wife as Christ loved the Church, the husband being the example of God to man, and wives, submit to your husband, the example of how we as humans should relate to God. We so often enter into relationships because we are selfish and forget there is a higher purpose. Jonathan said to me to other night a paraphrase of a verse that we read together last night that talks about a man's wife being his glory. Jonathan knows that God has commanded him to love his wife as Christ loved the Church. He knows that people will see how he treats me and that is a witness. He knows that how he treats me and how I respond is for his own good as well. He wants people to look at his wife and know that he is the husband.

My man is solid. I can tell you that. Let me tell you girl...the Lord has been teaching me TONS through this relationship with this boy...and I am thankful for it every day. Another example is last night. Our Church has dinner every Wednesday night. Jonathan always takes my stuff and throws it away for me...which in turn allows me to do that for other people. His service to me then allows my service to someone else. And let me tell you, other people notice...and while they have yet to see that it is mostly because Jonathan is serving me that I am able to serve them...they will the next time they talk about how sweet I am...b/c I am able to be sweet to them because Jonathan was first sweet to me...do you see the parallel I am drawing here...relationship...such an example of Christ in our lives...a tangible example. BUT only if the man is right where he is supposed to be as well. Only if his view of the relationship is God's view...b/c we both know how selfish not only we can be but men can be as well!! We have not trained our youth well...we are slipping away...

Cuddling. Ooo boy do I like cuddling! But, the times that make my heart love Jonathan? The times we spend together with him playing worship songs on the piano as we sing to the Lord and then spending time in prayer together for the needs that have been brought before us that week. The times we spend sitting on the stripped couch in my living room reading the Word side by side discussing the Truths the Lord has placed in there for us to follow. The times I hear him sharing about God's grace for him and seeing him live that out despite the opposition he sees from, yes, our own Church members. There is nothing more manly to me than a godly man. And when I hear an adult in Church say "God is all over that boy" in regard to Jonathan, that is when my heart swells up. That is what makes the cuddling times to me hugely sweet. They are sweet because I know that the one I am cuddling with loves the Lord more than he loves life, more than he loves me. And girl, I can tell you this boy treats me WELL! He loves me well...So I can only imagine that the Lord knows how much he loves Him. I think the physical is an expression of love, God intended it to be that way, but as usual we have perverted it...and when we partake in it in that way...that is when things feel off...Jonathan and I have actually kissed, which was great...but as we grow closer to the Lord, those are the moments that make my heart flutter, to be proverbial. I am glad I allowed kissing...as it did take some pressure off, but what I am even more glad about? Is when Jonathan would put aside physical desires for us to pull out the Word and read it together instead. How rock on awesome is that?? Yeah, that is what makes my heart love him...not those physical moments...b/c the lust of the physical will pass...but the solid relationship based around Jesus? It will only grow...which then will make our physical grow as well. It is all related.

So, there we have a few of my thoughts. Did this help you out any? I am sure I could go on for a LONG time about the things God has been showing me through Jonathan...about tons of things...but this I know, I am blessed by the Lord, why is it me and not some other girl? I don't know but I "ain't" giving him away to anyone else! He is God's gift to me and I hope I never take that for granted. Every girl deserves to be loved as Christ loves the Church...what freedom that brings! Yet another way God has shown me His perfection. Praise Him!

The other day during my quiet time God told me that sharing about the time He had me in South Asia was going to be my ministry. I thought He was telling me that to take the butterflies out of my tummy as to the two speaking engagements I had coming up this week. Today I spoke to a Sunday School class and actually, they had asked Jonathan to lead us in worship before hand, so he played the piano and sung a song that ended up being a perfect lead in to what the Lord had wanted me to share. Anyway, these people have been praying for me for two years. I thought there might be about 20 people there...ends up, as Kelly the missions pastor said afterward, there was standing room only. There had to have been almost 80 people packed into that room. Wow. I don't know how I could have stood up there without God. I am thankful He has given me a story...and thankful He helps me during these speaking engagements.

And now, after today, I have been asked to speak two more times with different groups. In addition to the group of ladies I will be speaking with tomorrow night. Did someone say that people were not going to want to listen to us once we got home? I am having my Moses moments...but God is faithful...and blesses me so much each time...so onward ho...

Off to Greek class I go...

I feel as though God has been speaking to me so much this past week it is almost impossible to settle on one good thing He has shown me...

So, I will expound on one of the many realizations that hit me this weekend...a realization that at 27, I feel as though I should have had many many years ago...but I suppose that is why God says we will never be fully mature until the day of Christ...as we will always be changing and growing in our knowledge and understanding of Him...and learning the best way to walk through life here on earth...His way...with expectations He sets forth in His Word for us to have.

So anyway, what brought about an amazement in my heart this weekend was sitting, observing relationships between men and women that came across my path. Specifically, I sat and listened to a husband yelling at his wife, stomping around, completely irrational, blaming, and threatening, and the wife in a state I would NEVER want to find myself in...and that is when Jesus hit me over the head...
He told me...that what I am to expect from a man, a husband, is that he is to love me as Christ loved the Church. The immensity of that verse is far too often overshadowed by the hoopla of submission of the wife. In reality, the men have the hardest job of the two. I can easily submit to a man who I have no doubt loves me as Christ loves the Church...as Christ gave up His life for it.

How selfish we have made relationships these days. I am coming to understand how, if I settle for treatment less than that of Christ for His Church, then that is my own fault in a poor relationship. I love that I have every right to expect that my man will treat me as Christ has set forth I be treated if I choose to be with a man that loves Christ more than he loves me, and therefore follows the Word in how he is to treat me. If I am to be involved in a relationship with someone whose heart is not fully set on Christ, then I can have no expectation that he will treat me the way I should be treated. After all, what standard does he have to live up to? I want my man to strive after God's standards for life and how he should treat his wife, and his family. I see no greater man than the man of Christ...treating others as Christ would want them to be treated.

I am done with settling...after all...settling is our own fault and not glorifying to God. If we have less than God's best...that is our choice is it not? I have sought after God's heart and His Word in my life since I became a Christian 9 years ago and I have seen nothing better. I have been all over the world and have seen nothing better than God's way...it is just too often people settle for less than God's standards so we can never exactly see what life in the fullness of Christ is really like...I don't want to be that girl anymore.

So, I got to substitute 5th grade yesterday and I loved it! Elementary kids are so cute...and heartbreaking at the same time. I saw one of my boys crying in the hall yesterday and it broke my heart. What must a heart be going through at the age of 10 to cause tears as such? Unfortunately with the way the world is today I don't even want to ponder the possibilities too long. I was glad to get to ask him if he was doing OK, but sad to know that the bell was ringing to wisk him off to his next class so I could not find out more...

God is changing my heart...in ways I would not have imagined. He is such an amazing God.

Oh, and apparently I look Mexican. I can't count how many of the kids asked me if I was Mexican yesterday...ha ha. Never a dull moment up until the final bell rung...I even walked away with a "rockin" American flag peace tatoo from one of my boys. Now is that what life is all about or what?
On the boy, eh hem, man note, Jonathan met the fam yesterday and is was good. We took a little boat ride and ate dinner lake side and it was nice. My mom is in town and so far my "spawn of satanness" has not emerged. Only by the grace of God and the prayers of the many faithful I am blessed to have in my life. Thanks God.

I had a request tonight for a picture of Jonathan. So, here we are...

It only gets better every day.

The Lord is totally blowing me out of the water. He is exceeding my expectations way more than I could ever have imagined. I am blessed. I went running this morning in the rain and the words to a Todd Agnew song came to mind about "Grace like rain falling down on me." Running on the deserted street being soaked by rain drops made me thankful anew that I have more grace than I could ever ask for...there is nothing quite like the feeling of freedom...

AND you know, my guy made and brought me brownies today because he wanted to suprise me and make me happy. I still can't believe it. He even brought enough so that my bro and sis, and the two guys who work here could have some. Is he for real?? Oh yeah, he is for real.