Well, I have been pondering how much or how to share with you all what God has been showing me the past few months in regard to relationship. I was responding to a question a friend posted, and thought, I should just steal my own comment and make it my post. It is kinda long...but it is my heart...so here you go...
You know...I read your last post last night and wanted to spend time thinking about it before I responded. :) And now here is another one. :) Are you ready? This could get long!!
Let me first tell you that I have commitment issues myself! My relationships have not lasted either but BOY AM I THANKFUL I did not force the issue with any of them! And when God speaks to your heart about a relationship and tells you to keep walking in it...then the difference comes. I have been on my knees about this relationship I am in and only because the Lord first told me to get over my fears and date this boy have I done so. I think that it is right that your first desire is for Jesus, and you realize that at the end of your day you would rather have Jesus than a man. If you start any relationship thinking any other way I think it is bound for destruction. So often relationships destruct because we get out of focus and think that a "man" can provide the heart things we "need", when we both know they can not. Then we end up putting pressure on a man to fulfill a role, to be something he was never meant to be...that whole "you complete me" line is a bunch of crap. So as long as your first desire is for the Lord and you are not expecting this guy to be the Lord...then things will be right where they are supposed to be.
I think another thing we tend to do is see our relationships as about "us". God has been talking to me about that this week. God has been telling me that my relationship, mostly in marriage form, is my ministry not only to my husband, but almost as important, to others. God intended marriage to be yet another example of His role in this world. Husband love your wife as Christ loved the Church, the husband being the example of God to man, and wives, submit to your husband, the example of how we as humans should relate to God. We so often enter into relationships because we are selfish and forget there is a higher purpose. Jonathan said to me to other night a paraphrase of a verse that we read together last night that talks about a man's wife being his glory. Jonathan knows that God has commanded him to love his wife as Christ loved the Church. He knows that people will see how he treats me and that is a witness. He knows that how he treats me and how I respond is for his own good as well. He wants people to look at his wife and know that he is the husband.
My man is solid. I can tell you that. Let me tell you girl...the Lord has been teaching me TONS through this relationship with this boy...and I am thankful for it every day. Another example is last night. Our Church has dinner every Wednesday night. Jonathan always takes my stuff and throws it away for me...which in turn allows me to do that for other people. His service to me then allows my service to someone else. And let me tell you, other people notice...and while they have yet to see that it is mostly because Jonathan is serving me that I am able to serve them...they will the next time they talk about how sweet I am...b/c I am able to be sweet to them because Jonathan was first sweet to me...do you see the parallel I am drawing here...relationship...such an example of Christ in our lives...a tangible example. BUT only if the man is right where he is supposed to be as well. Only if his view of the relationship is God's view...b/c we both know how selfish not only we can be but men can be as well!! We have not trained our youth well...we are slipping away...
Cuddling. Ooo boy do I like cuddling! But, the times that make my heart love Jonathan? The times we spend together with him playing worship songs on the piano as we sing to the Lord and then spending time in prayer together for the needs that have been brought before us that week. The times we spend sitting on the stripped couch in my living room reading the Word side by side discussing the Truths the Lord has placed in there for us to follow. The times I hear him sharing about God's grace for him and seeing him live that out despite the opposition he sees from, yes, our own Church members. There is nothing more manly to me than a godly man. And when I hear an adult in Church say "God is all over that boy" in regard to Jonathan, that is when my heart swells up. That is what makes the cuddling times to me hugely sweet. They are sweet because I know that the one I am cuddling with loves the Lord more than he loves life, more than he loves me. And girl, I can tell you this boy treats me WELL! He loves me well...So I can only imagine that the Lord knows how much he loves Him. I think the physical is an expression of love, God intended it to be that way, but as usual we have perverted it...and when we partake in it in that way...that is when things feel off...Jonathan and I have actually kissed, which was great...but as we grow closer to the Lord, those are the moments that make my heart flutter, to be proverbial. I am glad I allowed kissing...as it did take some pressure off, but what I am even more glad about? Is when Jonathan would put aside physical desires for us to pull out the Word and read it together instead. How rock on awesome is that?? Yeah, that is what makes my heart love him...not those physical moments...b/c the lust of the physical will pass...but the solid relationship based around Jesus? It will only grow...which then will make our physical grow as well. It is all related.
So, there we have a few of my thoughts. Did this help you out any? I am sure I could go on for a LONG time about the things God has been showing me through Jonathan...about tons of things...but this I know, I am blessed by the Lord, why is it me and not some other girl? I don't know but I "ain't" giving him away to anyone else! He is God's gift to me and I hope I never take that for granted. Every girl deserves to be loved as Christ loves the Church...what freedom that brings! Yet another way God has shown me His perfection. Praise Him!
You know...I read your last post last night and wanted to spend time thinking about it before I responded. :) And now here is another one. :) Are you ready? This could get long!!
Let me first tell you that I have commitment issues myself! My relationships have not lasted either but BOY AM I THANKFUL I did not force the issue with any of them! And when God speaks to your heart about a relationship and tells you to keep walking in it...then the difference comes. I have been on my knees about this relationship I am in and only because the Lord first told me to get over my fears and date this boy have I done so. I think that it is right that your first desire is for Jesus, and you realize that at the end of your day you would rather have Jesus than a man. If you start any relationship thinking any other way I think it is bound for destruction. So often relationships destruct because we get out of focus and think that a "man" can provide the heart things we "need", when we both know they can not. Then we end up putting pressure on a man to fulfill a role, to be something he was never meant to be...that whole "you complete me" line is a bunch of crap. So as long as your first desire is for the Lord and you are not expecting this guy to be the Lord...then things will be right where they are supposed to be.
I think another thing we tend to do is see our relationships as about "us". God has been talking to me about that this week. God has been telling me that my relationship, mostly in marriage form, is my ministry not only to my husband, but almost as important, to others. God intended marriage to be yet another example of His role in this world. Husband love your wife as Christ loved the Church, the husband being the example of God to man, and wives, submit to your husband, the example of how we as humans should relate to God. We so often enter into relationships because we are selfish and forget there is a higher purpose. Jonathan said to me to other night a paraphrase of a verse that we read together last night that talks about a man's wife being his glory. Jonathan knows that God has commanded him to love his wife as Christ loved the Church. He knows that people will see how he treats me and that is a witness. He knows that how he treats me and how I respond is for his own good as well. He wants people to look at his wife and know that he is the husband.
My man is solid. I can tell you that. Let me tell you girl...the Lord has been teaching me TONS through this relationship with this boy...and I am thankful for it every day. Another example is last night. Our Church has dinner every Wednesday night. Jonathan always takes my stuff and throws it away for me...which in turn allows me to do that for other people. His service to me then allows my service to someone else. And let me tell you, other people notice...and while they have yet to see that it is mostly because Jonathan is serving me that I am able to serve them...they will the next time they talk about how sweet I am...b/c I am able to be sweet to them because Jonathan was first sweet to me...do you see the parallel I am drawing here...relationship...such an example of Christ in our lives...a tangible example. BUT only if the man is right where he is supposed to be as well. Only if his view of the relationship is God's view...b/c we both know how selfish not only we can be but men can be as well!! We have not trained our youth well...we are slipping away...
Cuddling. Ooo boy do I like cuddling! But, the times that make my heart love Jonathan? The times we spend together with him playing worship songs on the piano as we sing to the Lord and then spending time in prayer together for the needs that have been brought before us that week. The times we spend sitting on the stripped couch in my living room reading the Word side by side discussing the Truths the Lord has placed in there for us to follow. The times I hear him sharing about God's grace for him and seeing him live that out despite the opposition he sees from, yes, our own Church members. There is nothing more manly to me than a godly man. And when I hear an adult in Church say "God is all over that boy" in regard to Jonathan, that is when my heart swells up. That is what makes the cuddling times to me hugely sweet. They are sweet because I know that the one I am cuddling with loves the Lord more than he loves life, more than he loves me. And girl, I can tell you this boy treats me WELL! He loves me well...So I can only imagine that the Lord knows how much he loves Him. I think the physical is an expression of love, God intended it to be that way, but as usual we have perverted it...and when we partake in it in that way...that is when things feel off...Jonathan and I have actually kissed, which was great...but as we grow closer to the Lord, those are the moments that make my heart flutter, to be proverbial. I am glad I allowed kissing...as it did take some pressure off, but what I am even more glad about? Is when Jonathan would put aside physical desires for us to pull out the Word and read it together instead. How rock on awesome is that?? Yeah, that is what makes my heart love him...not those physical moments...b/c the lust of the physical will pass...but the solid relationship based around Jesus? It will only grow...which then will make our physical grow as well. It is all related.
So, there we have a few of my thoughts. Did this help you out any? I am sure I could go on for a LONG time about the things God has been showing me through Jonathan...about tons of things...but this I know, I am blessed by the Lord, why is it me and not some other girl? I don't know but I "ain't" giving him away to anyone else! He is God's gift to me and I hope I never take that for granted. Every girl deserves to be loved as Christ loves the Church...what freedom that brings! Yet another way God has shown me His perfection. Praise Him!
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